What Should Dating Look Like?

This is a difficult topic to discuss. Every family has their own rules for dating...some have none at all. I think that it is very important to discuss this as a family and come up with your own rules.

I love what the Duggars are doing in regards to dating...although they call it courting. We have a lot of the same ideas for dating that the Duggars have, maybe not quite as rigid. It is just important to know where you stand as a family.

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I really do believe that the purpose of dating should be with an intent to marry. Which means that marriage must be a realistic possibility when you start dating. So, why do we allow our teenagers to date? They are not ready to marry at that age. I wish so much that my parents had spared me the waste of time called "dating" in high school. I wish they had gone through some books on the idea of only dating with the intent to marry. Now, my parents were very strict, so I never really dated. But, I did have a boyfriend (and felt like I had to have a boyfriend) all through high school. It was an emotional roller coaster. I wish I had enjoyed that time more with family and good friends.

Here are some rules that we have regarding dating: (these may change as we approach that time a little later)

1. The boy asks the girl's father for permission to date, with the possibility of marriage
2. Both families really get to know each other, because of course you marry into another family
3. Both families are involved in the dating process with the couple...parents and siblings
4. Most dating activities are done in a group setting...mostly family activities
5. The couple becomes accountable to both families 
6. Make sure that the relationship is Bible based
7. Rules are established ahead of time regarding the physical part of the relationship...and shared with the families to keep accountable
8. Only seriously date someone that you would consider marrying

There are a lot of resources to help you with your decisions regarding dating. When the boys were younger, we did The Squire and the Scroll books. These were really great.

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Now that the boys are teenagers, there are many other books that are recommended.

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I have read all of the above listed books. As with all books that I read, I take what I want from it, and leave the rest. I don't always believe everything that is written in these books, but there is a lot of great information that I do take away.

This method of dating may seem old-fashioned, but it is so much healthier to save yourself for that special person...emotionally and physically.